My Worst Nightmare

Um, so I have a problem. I have red hair (hence the "redhead jen")... I think redheaded girls are adorable. I dislike redheaded boys/men. A LOT.** I am terrified that my future sons will have red hair. My fingers are crossed that my fabulous brown-haired husband will overpower my genes and donate his hair color to our sons.

Anyway, my fab friend T (who is much nicer than me) is always attempting to point out the (nonexistent) positive side of red-haired boys. I, in turn, am always trying to explain that there is no positive side. (side note: in my imaginery universe, The Little Wife lives right next door to me and we can discuss all of these things at length while standing in our front yards.)

Yesterday, on my way from the office to the subway, I saw the perfect example of my worst nightmare - a redheaded man... a pudgy, out-of-shape, not masculine one - wearing a shirt that is too tight. Ew ew ew. I, of course, sped up and attempted to get close enough to take a picture to send to my fab friend T as evidence for my case. (Yes, I sort of stalked this man for two blocks and then followed him on the platform while trying to take pictures with my phone. I also then stood behind him and tried to nonchalantly take a close up of his man muffin top. I was not nonchalant. At all. I'm pretty sure there were at least three people who caught me and then looked at me like I was nuts. Whatever.)

Here are the pictures:















**note, I understand that this is a complete double standard and is unfair. Oh well.

UPDATE 4/23:
Sorry, I got so excited that I forgot to finish the story...

Upon seeing these pictures, fab friend T told me that "the muffin top isn't that bad" and that "maybe he just needs a nice wife to help pick out better fitting shirts". (Like I said, she's nicer than me.) Okay, men aren't supposed to have muffin tops. We're the soft ones that are allowed a little extra tummy love. Not them. Also, the whole reason this man doesn't have a nice wife to help pick out better fitting shirts is BECAUSE HE'S A REDHEADED MAN. And his shirts don't fit well. And he has a muffin top. Gawd, I hope I don't have redheaded sons.
*****

xoxo